Having friends around for dinner and the game. Like most of us if you can’t understand a thing that’s happening on the field don’t get left out. Stir the conversation to what you know best and that’s wine.

In 2 minutes you’re going to be a wine genius. In 9 easy pictures we are going to teach you all the vocab from tannin, bouquet, terroir, aroma — not to mention how to hold a glass, recognise flavors, and know when to drink it.

Lesson 1: The Wine Bottle

Lets start with what the wine comes in. The name of the company that produces the wine will be at the top, followed by the variety of wine, the region and type of grapes used, and the year it was made. Alcohol content will be at the very bottom of the label. See our wine bottle illustration:

Lesson 2: Temperature of Wine

Depending on the wine they should all be served at different temperatures. White wine should be served cold below 5°C, red wine at room temperature and pink or Rose chilled between 7-13 degrees.

Lesson 3: The Wine Glass

This is a great opportunity to pick up on your friends serving wine is whisky jars. While we don’t recommend you buy all of them try pick around the wines you like.

Lessons 4: Swilling the wine

The last thing you want when your knowledge is blowing everyone over is to swill the wine like a novice. To hold and swill wine like an expert, hold the glass by the stem. This is important especially with chilled wines since the heat from your hand will warm the bowl and alter the taste of the wine. Then rotate your wrist so the wine gently swirls around the bowl. This allows the smell of the wine to fill the bowl, which is important for the flavor profile.

Lesson 5: Colouring of Wine

There are plenty of fools out there that think wine comes in 2 or 3 colours. This must enrage you so its time you made a point. Wines are not only red, pink, or white. In fact, the shade and hue of the wine indicates its age and the type of wine — whether it’s light- or full-bodied, or the different kinds of rosé. And if a wine looks cloudy, that usually means there’s something wrong with it. Ask for a different glass, or throw out the wine. That’ll teach ‘em.

Lesson 6: Wine strength

While there’s not much to this one as we all know wine strength ranges from 11-14%. Lighter wines tend to have less alcohol, whereas bolder wines will have more. No real news there. However, you could throw in that light wines should be drunk with 3 days after opening. Bolder wines can last up to 10 days. Even the one area they thought they knew all about you have up ended them.

Lesson 7: Aroma

Most people couldn’t smell a wine if you poured it down their nose but you think isn’t an essential part of the drinking process. Start throwing words around like fruity, sweet, spicy, herbal, mineral, and floral are some of the more common aromas. Claim you can even taste the underlying flavor notes of the wine. Here are some of the common ones:

And to round off the night lets talk about stuff they never even heard off. Call a taxi before you start.

Lessons 8: Tannins

Most of the clowns at the table wont even of heard of this. Just remember a tannin is a textural element of wine that makes it taste dry. Don’t push the boat out on this one but here is some extras. Tannin is a naturally occurring polyphenol found in plants, seeds, bark, wood, leaves, and fruit skins. Tannins add bitterness, astringency, and a complex flavour to your wine. Typically, tannins in wine either come from the grapes’ skin, seeds, or stems. Tannins can also be from the wood of the barrel that the wine was aged in. Wine tannins are most commonly found in red wine, although some white wines have tannins from being aged in wooden barrels.

Lessons 9: Terroir

Terroir is a vocab word that only true wine connoisseurs like you are familiar with . Essentially, it’s the set of special characteristics (including climate, soil type, topography, and other plants growing in the area) that influence grapes where they’re grown. The terroir affects the flavor of the grapes, and is what makes all wines unique. Now it’s time to say ‘we better call it a night, taxi’s outside’.

Now it’s time to say ‘we better call it a night, taxi’s outside’